It's weird to be employed again. Heck, it's weird just to be around people outside my family. I thought my job was going to be a piece of cake, but now I'm not so sure. It will be character-building, that is certain. I think it might be just what I need.

I'm tired of trying to sound profound. Come on, my life is not that profound. Mostly it is watching hours and hours of television punctuated by awkward social interactions. Really awkward. I hate meetings. I hate talking at meetings worrying that I'm sounding like a total idiot. I especially hate people pointing out my weaknesses and insecurities. And yet, that is how we grow, with a little constructive criticism every now and then.

I wish I were hilarious and incredibly clever. That's part of the reason I keep this blog, because I hope that as I write something will slip out that could be construed as incredibly clever. Sadly, that has never happened, as far as I can tell. I can memorize long lists of words. I can take tests like a pro. But to make some spontaneous comment that people find clever and funny, well, that happens maybe once a year if I'm lucky.

I just watched 20/20. Barbara Walters interviewed President George W. Bush and Laura Bush. Laura Bush seemed so much more at ease in the interview than her husband. George W. Bush has this weird way of laughing after he's said something serious. Right after he finished saying something serious about Iraq, he let out this little chuckle, and it was kind of disturbing. Let me not get started on Bush. I read something in Time magazine about how he read a book about Lincoln, and I just couldn't imagine George W. Bush reading a book. I've been watching so much of the Tonight Show that Bush is like a caricature to me, so much so that I don't see him as a normal human being who would possibly be interested in books, even if he is the president. Even reading a magazine like Time, I've never really had a sense of this man's deeper side. I can't imagine him agonizing over decisions, either because that kind of thing never gets published in the news, or because he just doesn't do it. I can't even make decisions for my own life, how does one man make decisions that affect the entire world? And show no uncertainty, no regrets, no hand-wringing? There's very little ambiguity with him, and that really bothers me.