Sunday night, actually Monday morning. My sister left for college again, and I knew she was leaving but it was just sad that she wasn't there to watch ER with me when I got home. And she won't be here any more except for weekends, and I guess that's life and all but I've grown pretty attached to her over this summer and I'm going to miss her.

I can't make up my mind about work. Sometimes it seems like this job is great and that it's a gateway to bigger and better things, a real opportunity, other times I see it as a dead end and draining to boot. I am tired a lot of the time during the day and I end up taking long naps and wasting time that way. And yet, I don't want to give it up. I guess right now I'm not in a good position to be making plans for the future, I should probably just hang in there for a while longer then figure out what I should do job-wise.

The accident. I want to forget it but every person I know seems to know about it now. I guess to me it just seems like I do one stupid thing after another, and this was just one of those stupid things, and I don't want to be reminded of it. It's like I don't know how to deal with the real world any more. I lack survival skills, I spend too much time in my head and not enough time in reality. Lacking a person to talk to, I spend some time listening to some comforting music while playing computer pinball for its numbing effect.