The only computer more unreliable than a PC running Windows: a Mac. Constantly having to restart the thing and having the thing mysteriously not accept my password get really annoying after awhile. It's like a computer with mood swings.

Speaking of moods. I don't know how to describe my mood lately. Kind of bored, actually, despite having a job. My job is starting to feel like playing a video game. And I feel like I have nearly mastered the fine art of what I do. It's not too challenging.

I'm also sick of just being at home all day. Mostly I spend my time at home reading and/or watching TV. Sometimes I give myself little chores to do, like go to the grocery store, or go get my car inspected, or go to the library. I'll spend two hours working on my research. Then back to laziness, TV and a book or a magazine. My social skills are declining, as usually happens during the summer when I start spending more time alone.

The "honeymoon" period with my work is over for me. Not that I don't enjoy working there, or that I don't still think that my job is fun and it is an amazing thing that I work at such a cool place. But it is in fact a job just like any other job. Sometimes I don't want to come in to work. I'd rather spend some time with my family or watch prime time TV. And there are co-workers to get along with. Not that I don't get along with them. I guess it is just how I am, that I am already really shy, and I am especially shy in this environment. I don't have this undying passion for the subject matter that most of these people obviously have. And most of these people are older than me. Oh yeah, and I'm not a guy. So all of these make me feel especially intimidated and I knew this going into it, but still. I feel like the odd girl out there. I guess I expected people to make more of an effort to reach out to me. And the hours are late, the pay is cheap, and I don't know how well this job will translate into experience I can use to get a better job. It makes me wonder, where do I belong? Don't belong in grad school. Still wondering if I belong at this job. Maybe I'll never find a place that I fit in. Truth is, it bothers me to feel out of place but not as much as some people. I don't mind sitting alone in a crowded cafeteria or standing alone in a hallway as people pass by. I don't mind being independent, going my own way. I like to think of myself as an observer in these situations more than anything. I can't stand people who don't do anything that would feel uncomfortable for them, never put themselves in an uncomfortable situation, never hang out with people who think differently from them.