Friday. Awesome. Whatever. I rented "The Hours" and "Old School", which is an odd combination now that I think about it. I guess I'll probably be watching those alone tonight because Mom's going to Jim's apartment for a barbecue and my sisters probably have plans. Oh well.
Anyway, I've been thinking of loneliness and togetherness and what it all means. I think I am happier now that I'm living at home. I have people to talk to during the day, I smile and I vent my frustrations and listen to all theirs. I am not so alone and depressed. I don't have the time or resources to spend all day in front of the computer writing about how pathetic my life is, or listening to sad, mopey music, or bingeing on boxes of cookies. Such is the life of living alone.
It upsets me to think that I'm 21 and have never been on a date, never been kissed, etc., etc. I have had very few friends in my life. I've been in college three years, but sometimes I still cringe at the idea of talking to my classmates. I'm better than I was a few years ago, but it is still very hard for me to face things. I am insecure and I think the worst about people. I'm still not convinced that I am going in the right direction for my life. I spend so much time at home, I'm still very sheltered and I prefer it that way.