Check out Sarah Hatter's latest post. That's kind of how I feel. I watch TV weddings and think, what's the point? Why don't people just live together? Why do they bother with marriage any more? That way you can go your separate ways without having as much baggage. You don't feel obligated to stay stuck in a relationship you no longer believe in. I guess if you want to have kids, you should get married, but otherwise, why?

With Valentine's Day coming up and that incident last week where I got to talk to my big crush, my thoughts have been on love and romance. I must admit that I want that for myself, I want to fall in love and have a lasting relationship. But it's so much trouble, too. I'm insecure enough without putting my heart into someone else's hands. I guess there are those moments in life where things are so perfect, you fall into your lover's arms, you trust that person completely, you feel intense feelings of intimacy and togetherness. Then there are those lesser moments, the ones where you're wondering what the other person thinks of you. You're standing at the kitchen sink doing the dishes wondering if that person will ever call you again. You wonder who else that person talks to and if she is prettier than you. Thinking about those ugly moments makes me hesitate, and ultimately, the fear of being betrayed scares me more than the fear of being alone for the rest of my life.