Excuse me for being wordy and emotional and all that stuff. Just to warn you...
Today I got to stay home from the class I TA for since there was a test. I really needed that break, since I was so overstressed. I felt almost like I was going to have an anxiety attack, I felt physically tensed up and panicky. Some deep breathing did the trick to calm me down a little. I don't know why I always feel the need to do everything right. To please everyone, not to step on any toes or God forbid I might get in some trouble. I plan things out minutely to avoid confrontations, then when things get bad and I can't control them there comes the anxiety. I guess this is where my people problems come from, because I can't control other people, and that simple fact drives me crazy every single day of my life. I am getting way behind on my thesis project, that bothers me, and it bothers me that I'm not going to be TA of the year. Oh well, what can you do but just carry on and try to do better...

My latest musical interest: Annie Lennox. I downloaded two of her songs (Why and No More I Love You's) and I have listened to them over and over the past few days. Her voice is amazing, and I like that the songs are very unique, not your usual warmed-over pop melodies, and that they have some meaningful lyrics.