Unfortunately my parents have been getting on my nerves. I do want to help my mom a lot, but I help her and she bosses me around and corrects me when I'm doing something different from the way she does it. Like she asked me to cut something with a knife and then I started just cutting it real quick on the counter and then she said, not on the formica. I can kind of see her point, but I wasn't going to cut all the way through, of course. Kind of insignificant, yet still proving that she's my mom and even though I'm *20 years old* and have *moved out of the house* she still treats me like a kid who doesn't know any better. It kind of reminds me why I moved out in the first place.
Then there's my dad. He is the most passive-aggressive person on the face of the earth, I swear. Even if something annoys him for months, he will not say anything about it, and then one day out of the blue he will just explode. We were having lunch at Taco Cabana and my sister was talking about her job hunt and my dad mentioned something about political spoils and my sister was like, well, how did what I said bring up this lecture on politics. She was rude, but she usually is about that kind of stuff, and my dad just sucks it up with a little grimace and changes the subject. This time my dad was stewing- he said nothing while my sister and I discussed monks setting themselves on fire, then a minute later said something along the lines of, I can't say anything to you, I always have to be so careful about what I say to you. And my sister was genuinely hurt, said nothing about it for awhile, but I think she started crying a little on the way home.
This little game is nothing new for my family. My dad has done that to everyone basically. He lets you pretty much step all over him, in effect martyring himself, then when he's had enough he plays it against you so as to make himself the victim and you the bad guy. And he's really good at it. When you bring this up to him, he has all the arguments in the world- he has a whole catalog of your "offenses" to use as ammunition. So then you end up feeling like this is all your fault and that you are an insensitive jerk.
Over the years I've learned how to handle my dad. I don't really joke around with him very much because I know a lot of times he takes it the wrong way. I never ever criticize him, and, sorry to say, I generally try to stay out of his life because you never know what is going to offend him. This is why I have trouble trusting my dad- he has hurt me one too many times. I mean, who likes to feel like a jerk? I think he needs Dr. Phil :), or some kind of doctor anyway.
Well there goes my rant about my parents. Maybe this is why I'm so emotionally insecure. What do you think- does my family qualify as dysfunctional? I've been asking myself that question for years.