I am damn tired. I spent hours working on the group report, and barely had time to squeeze in my homework for other classes. I have this weird headache, the kind you get when you stay up all night even though I didn't even stay up all night.
In other news, I'm going to see a counselor tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. Maybe it will help, maybe not. I guess I've never really given therapy a shot when it comes to my social phobia. Something has to change. I don't want to just stay home all the time sleeping, watching the tube, and eating everything in sight. I'm going to get fatter. Yuck. I think that has a lot to do with these things. It's a vicious cycle- I don't go out because I feel self-conscious, so I stay home. Then I am at home and I feel depressed because I feel really lonely. So I eat because I'm bored and depressed. Then I get fatter, so I don't want to go out even more.
I want to change. So I will.
It is an ongoing quest for unconditional love. I feel that from God now, at last, I feel it from my parents, but I have never felt it from friends. So that's why I'm going to see this counselor.