I went to the grocery store this morning and everything was out of date. The produce was really bad- limp broccoli, gross tomatoes, out-of-date tortillas. I bought two bags of sugary cereal buy-one-get-one-free. I don't think I'll be going back there any time soon.
When I got home I cleaned up my apartment like usual. I didn't feel like it at all but I just did it anyway.
The weather is cold and wet and it depresses me. I'm doing my project but I don't really feel like doing that either. It's hard for me to work on a team because I'm used to doing everything myself. Sometimes I just want to do things myself so I know they'll get done and they won't take forever. Plus the more I get into what we are actually going to have to build the more I realize that I know nothing. I don't know how to do any of this!
I don't like how I've been acting lately. I watch too much TV. I do stupid things. I am so cynical sometimes. I don't take anything seriously. I feel like I'm in this hyper state, like I have this extremely short attention span. I'm emotional sometimes, but I think I'm like immune from getting too happy or too sad. I'm not emotionally invested in anything, really, and I make sure of that. I haven't had one of those happy moments in a while. I'm just kind of blah, because I have to be, I guess.