So, Sunday night. I'm dead tired. Numbingly tired, will not force myself to do any more work. I'm starting to look and feel like a shell of a person. I have like one more day to go of this crap. I've spent the past two weeks worrying and not getting much accomplished. And here I am in a real predicament. It's not like I didn't see this one coming a mile away.

I'm getting used to the idea of working. Nothing will ever be as good as college as far as free time. I'm trying to remember what it was like to get up early every single day. Tiring. A drag. Yuck. Is that what I really want? A desk job? A day job? So conventional.

Mom set up the Christmas decorations today. Very cute, I must say, despite what I wrote about being a Grinch.

I have to stand up for myself more. Yesterday I found out that I am going to have to work on Christmas, and I just accepted it, didn't really protest or ask if there was some way to get out of it even though I really don't want to work that day. I just suck it up. Like so many things in my life. Afraid to make waves. Want to disappear, be invisible, not matter.