These are some strange days. I'm content to be stupid. Really. I don't care about how things work anymore, as long as they work. And the thing is, I'm finding that it is very possible to go through life like that. Not caring about science or math, being more in tune with people and emotions and spiritual things, practical concerns, rather than with inanimate objects or scientific facts. I don't want to look at another math problem. Too much effort. I don't want to read another journal or conference paper. It makes my brain hurt. Who really enjoys reading those things? No one, I think, they are things that must be slogged through so that scientific progress can be made.

Anyway, so last night I made a bad mistake at work and was temporarily shaken out of my blissful vacation from the real world. I got home, ate a king-size Kit-Kat, and the thoughts returned. I'm a failure, I'll never find a good job, everyone hates me, I might as well not exist. I'm fat and lazy and I am emotionally dead. I had a good cry. How am I going to survive? I don't know what my career options are if not in IT. Work at a call center? Sell real estate? Management? Teach at a crummy community college? Maybe it doesn't matter, as long as the bills get paid and I have plenty of free time outside of work. Seriously. Even if my job is not my life's work, well, does it really matter? Work is work, it's not really meant to be fun.

On yet another totally different note, my cousin is getting married at the ripe old age of 26. My family doesn't think much of her fiancee, to be honest. He's a frat guy with lots of opinions. He has said and done some pretty immature things at our family get-togethers, i.e. giving my 12-year-old cousin $2 to drink a two-liter of Sprite. I think a lot of us are thinking, how could she marry this guy? She's a beautiful girl who also happens to be smart and confident. I bet she could find a lot of guys more mature than this one. Is there some kind of rule that you have to be married by age 27? It just doesn't make sense to me.