Well, I fell off the boat when it came to not eating anymore junk food. I consumed an entire box of cookies in the past 24 hours plus pizza and French fries.
I've come to the very troubling realization that I'm living my life like a loser. Also, that my mother is such a dork. And I'm still living here with no plans to move out in the near future. I can't even afford my own junk food supply. I haven't done my homework very well and I have no friends and have made no attempt to go out with anyone outside this family. My hair looks like crap and I'm expanding in weight this very minute.
I feel so much that I want someone to love me. Why do I love boys so much? I do think that they're all jerks at some level. But something inside says yes, I want you to want me. I have been challenging myself to speak to MOTOS who I find attractive. And the shocking thing is I've actually succeeded in doing it. Nothing really came of it, but at least I did it. I usually just duck out of those situations as fast as possible. Like this guy in my CS class. He's not heart-stoppingly attractive, but he's decent and he seems nice and really smart. And I worked up the nerve to talk to him when I could have very easily avoided it. But I still think that I'm just too ugly for people to look at in that particular way. And my rapidly expanding girth is not helping the situation any.