It's Friday morning. The bad thing about working nights is that the night seems to last forever when you're not working. I suppose this is how people who work in the day feel about staying home and watching daytime TV. Guilty, like they have too much time on their hands.

So it's back to reality, kind of. Living with my sisters, well, we were all in the same boat this past month. It was fun, we hung out during the day feeding off each others' laziness, watching Oprah, staying up until 2 am watching Iron Chef and Project Runway. That might never happen again, what with getting jobs and responsibilities and such.

Now I see other people going back to college, and for the first time in six years, I am not (well, beyond tomorrow's unfortunate presentation, I mean). I don't feel sad about it, not really. I don't belong there anymore. If anything, I should have quit a couple years earlier.

I'm enjoying life much more now that I don't have the pressure of school. I'm not in a huge rush to get a full-time job. OK, I'm lazy, but I am not tired of the free time, I'm not out of money, I'm not feeling as guilty as I probably should about living at home and not contributing to society. I got to a point of being like a zombie. It's like when you are jogging and you push past the point of tiredness and soon you don't even feel the exertion anymore, you are just moving on pure inertia. That's how it was.

I guess I'm having that crisis, that "I need to find myself" crisis. I'm questioning things about myself, questioning why I have to eat two or three candy bars each night and blog incessantly, and does it have to be that way? I can see the voids in my life so more clearly. I guess it always surprises me how people actually have fun in life, have fun at work, because I am always so serious about everything. I think about things far, far too much, I think about the bigger picture and what does it all mean, but one doesn't need to do that every day. Too much analysis, I analyze things so much and I don't actually live enough. If I spent the same amount of time thinking about some subject as I do thinking about myself and my problems, I'd be a freaking genius in that subject by now.