Feeling pretty low right now. Went to the interview, the guy who interviewed me was completely rude. Glanced at my resume, quickly pointed out all the deficiencies. Halfway through I was just like, I'm sunk, I quit trying to sell myself and just gave up. I have been here before, and it's like I just need to stop kidding myself. Am I just unhireable? Yes. My resume is a mess, my life is a mess, I've made some poor decisions and now it's time to own up to them. Start over fresh, quit being a lazy ass. Take something seriously for a change. I don't deserve to get hired. I really don't. If I were to get hired it would be a lucky accident.

I hate people, I hate computers, and I hate the world right now. I hate working at a job where I have to come home late every single night and get paid not enough to drive home surrounded by drunk drivers and work every holiday. I hate jobs, why must we have them, why can't we all play at the beach all day and have no worries? I hate jerks who are quick to point out your deficiencies and criticize your life decisions. I hate everyone, I hate myself for being a big jerk who can't make decisions who wallows in mediocrity.

I just feel like the biggest loser right now. Don't make much money, I'm semi-employed, right now I'm mostly a bum who watches TV and sleeps all day. I don't have any friends. I eat too much. I pretend to be religious but I'm really not. I've wasted the past two years of my life doing something that was a mistake that has not profited me in any way whatsoever. Right now I want to curl up and hide and never talk to anyone ever again. There's one solution to all my problems.

I hate the past two years and myself and everyone who made it two of the worst years of my life and discouraged me. I hate myself for going to grad school, I hate myself for being lazy and not thinking of the future and being a poser. I hate everyone for being better than me.