So it's Thursday. Better day today, got an e-mail from Stu of Feeling Listless. Apparently he wants to go ahead with that interview I proposed a few months ago. I had been thinking about it, was even getting ready to start writing down questions, and then I get this e-mail, which is cool. But now I'm like, I'd better not mess this up, because this is a pretty big thing, a five-year anniversary. But it's pretty cool, it's something I came up with and it was a big risk for me to ask and now it's coming to fruition.

Anyway, so I spent the rest of the day doing not much of anything, I cleaned the bathroom, returned my library book, played Scrabble with Mom. I don't know, I think I just need to start focusing on the good aspects of my life rather than feeling like every day is a failure, every day I am a failure because of what I lack. To be at least somewhat satisfied with how my life is going, I would say 80 percent satisfied, 20 percent unsatisfied and looking to make things better. Because how important is what you do anyway, how important is a job title and how you are regarded by other people, more important is your relationship with God, treating other people well, having self-respect and integrity and serving others rather than being a jerk. That can be done in any circumstances, no matter what job you have.

Maybe I was deflated by the job interview yesterday, but like I said I didn't deserve the job. And maybe it's God's will. I prayed, God show me your will, and then all that happened and I was humiliated but maybe that is God shutting the door. Why can't I just be honest, that I want to make a career change. Shut the door on what's past and focus on making a fresh start having learned from my mistakes.